Richard Davenport
March 17, 2024 â Fifth Sunday in Lent
Mark 10:35-45
A few years ago, Laurie and I found this series of little videos done by a family, a mom and dad and their two year old daughter. The series was entitled, âConversations with my Two Year Old.â Most of the interaction was between father and daughter, but the conversations themselves werenât captured live. Rather, the daughterâs side of things is reenacted by a friend of the family, a grown man who plays the part of the daughter. As most of you probably know, talking with a two year old can already be equal parts absurd and nerve wracking. Seeing the part played by a grown man just emphasized that even further.
One video in particular stood out for us, in part for the poor choices that were being made all around. It was entitled, âThe Cookie.â The daughter goes up to daddy, puts on her cute face and asks, âCan I have a cookie?â âNo, you canât have a cookie.â âButâŠcan I have a cookie?â âNo, you had a cookie for lunch. You canât have another cookie.â âI want a cookie.â âNo! You canât have any more cookies! Youâll spoil your dinner and thatâs that!â ââŠ.Can I have a cookie?â âNo! The cookies are all gone. We donât have any cookies left!â âButâŠmaybe I could have a cookie?â ââŠFine, 1 cookie and no more!â
Laurie and I shake our heads at how the dad has just taught his daughter that if she keeps asking, sheâll eventually get whatever it is sheâs asking for. Whatâs more, we donât have to listen to daddy when heâs setting down the rules, which are probably for her own good. We also donât listen to daddy because weâve learned daddy doesnât mean what he says.
There probably isnât a single person alive who hasnât tried this as a kid, or even as an adult. Itâs one of those tactics you learn. If it works well on your parents, then it may become your go-to method for getting things you want. Even if it doesnât, youâll still probably pull it out once in a while if nothing else seems to be working.
For kids, the desires are generally the same as theyâve always been. A cookie, staying up later, sleeping over at a friendâs house, getting a new toy, itâs all the same. Kids in different parts of the world or who lived hundreds of years ago might be asking for different kinds of treats or different kinds of toys, but the sentiment is exactly the same. Kids have this tendency to look at something and think about how great it would be to have it. They donât take the time to look a little further into the future and consider what might happen if they were to get what theyâre after.
A kid who just eats sweets all day will have health problems. A kid who is always getting new toys learns to be entitled and never learns what itâs like to not have something entertaining her at every moment of the day. A boy who thinks he can argue with dad and mom and get what he wants will eventually discover his own choices have made life very difficult for him and may even mean some things that canât be easily undone.
Itâs sad and frustrating when you see adults who do this regularly. If I just badger you long enough, youâll give me what I want. I donât really care whether itâs good for me or not. I donât really care whether youâre inconvenienced or even that it causes you to suffer a bit. I just make myself so annoying that youâre willing to suffer just to get rid of me.
As I said though, even those of us who grew out of it still do it. The pestering, the guilt trips, the wheedling, the bargaining, theyâre all just slightly different methods of the same thing: getting you to agree to something that is probably bad for me, but that I want anyway.
As adults, our understanding is greater than it was as a child. Our ability to see beyond the moment and to draw conclusions that are more complex or distant is far greater than a childâs. Children who badger and cajole are still wrong for doing what they do. Theyâre still rejecting those who are placed in their lives to help them learn and grow, but at least they have some small excuse in that they probably donât realize what will come of their actions. Adults have no such excuse. We can look at the evidence. We can draw conclusions. We can see that the things weâre after might be bad for us. We just choose not to.
Looking at the Gospel reading for today, the disciples are getting into trouble again. James and John are the highlights here. âTeacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.â Were Jesus perhaps less than perfect, you could easily see the exasperated sigh and the eyeroll. What harebrained nonsense have these come up with this time? Itâs the kind of thing you might expect from little kids, but no, these are grown adults who somehow think, âTeacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you,â isnât going to immediately set off alarms. How they thought beginning a conversation like this was a good idea I canât imagine, unless theyâd gotten an early start at the bar.
Nevertheless, here we are. James and John have been gleefully whispering to each other about the power, the glory, the fame and fortune, everything due such paragons of righteousness as these two. You can see them giggling and rubbing their hands together as they rush off to Jesus. They casually look around to see if anyoneâs really paying attention. Maybe this is a âfirst come first serveâ kind of thing and no oneâs thought to ask yet. They really are very clever. âUmmâŠJesus, we want to be the two coolest guys in the kingdom, I mean, next to you and the Father, and I guess the Spirit. Just, after you three, you should pick us to be on top.â
There isnât any other way to spin this. It really is just a terrible, terrible idea from the get go. Why they ever thought this would be well received I canât even guess. All by itself, itâs bad enough. But this isnât the first time this sort of issue has come up. Back in chapter 9, Jesus had already had to deal with them arguing over who was the greatest, to which Jesus tells them, âIf anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all,â and that they must become like children. Right after this, the disciples try to shut down a guy who is casting out demons in Jesusâ name. Jesus corrects them again. Then, in chapter 10, the disciples are trying to keep the children away. Jesus had just gotten through telling them they must become like children, but that message apparently didnât hit home. The kids arenât good enough to be worth Jesusâ time. Jesus has to correct them again.
âCan I be the greatest?â âNo, not like that you canât.â âCan I be the greatest?â âNo, you donât even understand what it means to be the greatest. You have to be like this kid to be the greatest.â âBut I want to be the greatest.â âWell, you canât be the greatest.â âButâŠmaybe I could be the greatest?â âFine, you want to act like the greatest so badly, this is what you get.â
God uses the analogy of parents and children periodically in Scripture. He is the wise and loving Father, we his stubborn and troublesome children. It isnât always a flattering picture, but it is an accurate one. The little girl who badgers dad for a cookie isnât interested in the consequences at all. She may not know about them or she may not care. Whatever consequences there might be are unimportant when compared with the cookie she has in mind.
She may not care, but her father does. He cares about her and so he cares about the consequences. You might argue the dad wasnât so great here in that he gave in to what the girl wanted. But, it really isnât all that different. Our Heavenly Father is far more patient, true. However, if you are so fixated on your cookie, on your greatness, onâŠwhatever thing heâs told you will be bad for you, that itâs all you want, all you ask for, and you badger and wheedle for it constantly, eventually he gives you what you want, along with all of the consequences that go with it.
We chafe at the laws God sets for us. We think them too burdensome. We think we can fudge them a bit here or there and everything will be fine. We think there are some things that are more important. Godâs laws are there to help you. They arenât like some of the well-intentioned but misguided laws of our country that are put together by sinful, fallible people. These are Godâs perfect laws. They are always good and always correct. They are there to keep you from hurting yourself, to keep you from running afoul of consequences you really donât want.
Treating God as someone who truly has our best interests at heart and who knows best how we should live is a good start, but we all know that sin never allows us to be content. We can never have enough. We must always be striving for more. We will step out of bounds and we will suffer those consequences, sometimes weâll even demand that God let us.
Our Heavenly Father isnât just a rule giver, he is also a mercy giver. He is the perfectly loving Father who treats us as his children no matter what. Being called a child isnât always flattering, true, but it should be a source of profound comfort. We never cease to be his children, no matter how often we demand things we shouldnât want, no matter how rudely we treat him, no matter how often we ignore him. Our relationship with him isnât one based on warm feelings, but on the promise he makes that he will always be there, no matter what.
We can see the consequences of our actions as we look to his Son on the cross. This is where our desires lead, this is what becomes of us if we demand what is unhealthy, as we inevitably do.
Jesus responds to the disciples that the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many. What is good for us and what we should want are often not what we seek. Still, Jesus is there, not to gloss over our sins or wave them away as unimportant, but to restore us after we have fallen into them. Itâs a very important distinction. Without him, we would suffer for our sins and be left with the consequences for all eternity.
We pray to our Father that he lead us not into temptation, because that is where we are always wanting to go. We know there are consequences and that they will bring us pain and grief. Better that we not even be tempted, so that we will never know that grief. But, it is bound to happen. We will run into those temptations now and then and we will fall victim to some of them. For that, we continue to prayer, âbut deliver us from evil.â Deliver us from the evil of the world around us. Deliver us from the evil within us as well. Hold your dear children close so they donât stray into danger. Keep us safe in your perfect care. Look upon us in your perfect mercy when we stray, and, at all times, shower us with your perfect love.