Richard Davenport

March 17, 2024 – Fifth Sunday in Lent

Mark 10:35-45

            A few years ago, Laurie and I found this series of little videos done by a family, a mom and dad and their two year old daughter. The series was entitled, “Conversations with my Two Year Old.”  Most of the interaction was between father and daughter, but the conversations themselves weren’t captured live.  Rather, the daughter’s side of things is reenacted by a friend of the family, a grown man who plays the part of the daughter.  As most of you probably know, talking with a two year old can already be equal parts absurd and nerve wracking.  Seeing the part played by a grown man just emphasized that even further.

            One video in particular stood out for us, in part for the poor choices that were being made all around.  It was entitled, “The Cookie.”  The daughter goes up to daddy, puts on her cute face and asks, “Can I have a cookie?”  “No, you can’t have a cookie.”  “But…can I have a cookie?”  “No, you had a cookie for lunch.  You can’t have another cookie.”  “I want a cookie.”  “No! You can’t have any more cookies! You’ll spoil your dinner and that’s that!”  “….Can I have a cookie?”  “No! The cookies are all gone.  We don’t have any cookies left!”  “But…maybe I could have a cookie?”  “…Fine, 1 cookie and no more!”

            Laurie and I shake our heads at how the dad has just taught his daughter that if she keeps asking, she’ll eventually get whatever it is she’s asking for.  What’s more, we don’t have to listen to daddy when he’s setting down the rules, which are probably for her own good.  We also don’t listen to daddy because we’ve learned daddy doesn’t mean what he says. 

            There probably isn’t a single person alive who hasn’t tried this as a kid, or even as an adult.  It’s one of those tactics you learn.  If it works well on your parents, then it may become your go-to method for getting things you want.  Even if it doesn’t, you’ll still probably pull it out once in a while if nothing else seems to be working.

            For kids, the desires are generally the same as they’ve always been.  A cookie, staying up later, sleeping over at a friend’s house, getting a new toy, it’s all the same.  Kids in different parts of the world or who lived hundreds of years ago might be asking for different kinds of treats or different kinds of toys, but the sentiment is exactly the same.  Kids have this tendency to look at something and think about how great it would be to have it.  They don’t take the time to look a little further into the future and consider what might happen if they were to get what they’re after. 

            A kid who just eats sweets all day will have health problems.  A kid who is always getting new toys learns to be entitled and never learns what it’s like to not have something entertaining her at every moment of the day. A boy who thinks he can argue with dad and mom and get what he wants will eventually discover his own choices have made life very difficult for him and may even mean some things that can’t be easily undone. 

            It’s sad and frustrating when you see adults who do this regularly.  If I just badger you long enough, you’ll give me what I want.  I don’t really care whether it’s good for me or not.  I don’t really care whether you’re inconvenienced or even that it causes you to suffer a bit.  I just make myself so annoying that you’re willing to suffer just to get rid of me. 

            As I said though, even those of us who grew out of it still do it.  The pestering, the guilt trips, the wheedling, the bargaining, they’re all just slightly different methods of the same thing: getting you to agree to something that is probably bad for me, but that I want anyway.

            As adults, our understanding is greater than it was as a child.  Our ability to see beyond the moment and to draw conclusions that are more complex or distant is far greater than a child’s.  Children who badger and cajole are still wrong for doing what they do. They’re still rejecting those who are placed in their lives to help them learn and grow, but at least they have some small excuse in that they probably don’t realize what will come of their actions. Adults have no such excuse.  We can look at the evidence.  We can draw conclusions.  We can see that the things we’re after might be bad for us.  We just choose not to.

            Looking at the Gospel reading for today, the disciples are getting into trouble again.  James and John are the highlights here.  “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.”  Were Jesus perhaps less than perfect, you could easily see the exasperated sigh and the eyeroll.  What harebrained nonsense have these come up with this time?  It’s the kind of thing you might expect from little kids, but no, these are grown adults who somehow think, “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you,” isn’t going to immediately set off alarms. How they thought beginning a conversation like this was a good idea I can’t imagine, unless they’d gotten an early start at the bar.

            Nevertheless, here we are.  James and John have been gleefully whispering to each other about the power, the glory, the fame and fortune, everything due such paragons of righteousness as these two.  You can see them giggling and rubbing their hands together as they rush off to Jesus. They casually look around to see if anyone’s really paying attention.  Maybe this is a “first come first serve” kind of thing and no one’s thought to ask yet. They really are very clever. “Umm…Jesus, we want to be the two coolest guys in the kingdom, I mean, next to you and the Father, and I guess the Spirit.  Just, after you three, you should pick us to be on top.” 

There isn’t any other way to spin this.  It really is just a terrible, terrible idea from the get go.  Why they ever thought this would be well received I can’t even guess.  All by itself, it’s bad enough.  But this isn’t the first time this sort of issue has come up.  Back in chapter 9, Jesus had already had to deal with them arguing over who was the greatest, to which Jesus tells them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all,” and that they must become like children.   Right after this, the disciples try to shut down a guy who is casting out demons in Jesus’ name.  Jesus corrects them again.  Then, in chapter 10, the disciples are trying to keep the children away.  Jesus had just gotten through telling them they must become like children, but that message apparently didn’t hit home.  The kids aren’t good enough to be worth Jesus’ time.  Jesus has to correct them again.

“Can I be the greatest?”  “No, not like that you can’t.”  “Can I be the greatest?”  “No, you don’t even understand what it means to be the greatest.  You have to be like this kid to be the greatest.”  “But I want to be the greatest.”  “Well, you can’t be the greatest.”  “But…maybe I could be the greatest?”  “Fine, you want to act like the greatest so badly, this is what you get.”

God uses the analogy of parents and children periodically in Scripture.  He is the wise and loving Father, we his stubborn and troublesome children.  It isn’t always a flattering picture, but it is an accurate one.  The little girl who badgers dad for a cookie isn’t interested in the consequences at all.  She may not know about them or she may not care.  Whatever consequences there might be are unimportant when compared with the cookie she has in mind. 

She may not care, but her father does.  He cares about her and so he cares about the consequences.  You might argue the dad wasn’t so great here in that he gave in to what the girl wanted.  But, it really isn’t all that different.  Our Heavenly Father is far more patient, true.  However, if you are so fixated on your cookie, on your greatness, on…whatever thing he’s told you will be bad for you, that it’s all you want, all you ask for, and you badger and wheedle for it constantly, eventually he gives you what you want, along with all of the consequences that go with it.

We chafe at the laws God sets for us.  We think them too burdensome.  We think we can fudge them a bit here or there and everything will be fine.  We think there are some things that are more important.  God’s laws are there to help you.  They aren’t like some of the well-intentioned but misguided laws of our country that are put together by sinful, fallible people.  These are God’s perfect laws.  They are always good and always correct.  They are there to keep you from hurting yourself, to keep you from running afoul of consequences you really don’t want.

Treating God as someone who truly has our best interests at heart and who knows best how we should live is a good start, but we all know that sin never allows us to be content.  We can never have enough.  We must always be striving for more.  We will step out of bounds and we will suffer those consequences, sometimes we’ll even demand that God let us. 

Our Heavenly Father isn’t just a rule giver, he is also a mercy giver.  He is the perfectly loving Father who treats us as his children no matter what.  Being called a child isn’t always flattering, true, but it should be a source of profound comfort.  We never cease to be his children, no matter how often we demand things we shouldn’t want, no matter how rudely we treat him, no matter how often we ignore him. Our relationship with him isn’t one based on warm feelings, but on the promise he makes that he will always be there, no matter what.

We can see the consequences of our actions as we look to his Son on the cross. This is where our desires lead, this is what becomes of us if we demand what is unhealthy, as we inevitably do. 

Jesus responds to the disciples that the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.  What is good for us and what we should want are often not what we seek.  Still, Jesus is there, not to gloss over our sins or wave them away as unimportant, but to restore us after we have fallen into them.  It’s a very important distinction.  Without him, we would suffer for our sins and be left with the consequences for all eternity.

We pray to our Father that he lead us not into temptation, because that is where we are always wanting to go.  We know there are consequences and that they will bring us pain and grief.  Better that we not even be tempted, so that we will never know that grief.  But, it is bound to happen.  We will run into those temptations now and then and we will fall victim to some of them. For that, we continue to prayer, “but deliver us from evil.”  Deliver us from the evil of the world around us.  Deliver us from the evil within us as well.  Hold your dear children close so they don’t stray into danger.  Keep us safe in your perfect care.  Look upon us in your perfect mercy when we stray, and, at all times, shower us with your perfect love.